Thinking of You, Ladies: from a recovering tomboy

I know what it’s like to want to be one of the guys. I was a tomboy for all of my youth and into early adulthood.

In my case, I became one to become closer to my father, who had always wanted a son. Before I’d hit 12, I was outdoorsy and rugged, and had learned how to pitch a baseball (overhand), shoot hoops, and box. In school I was always more comfortable with guys, feeling I had little in common with other girls.

In retrospect, I’ve come to realize how harmful tomboys are in the quest for equality, however. By working so hard to be accepted into a male group, we inherently adopt male mindsets and are much less likely to defend the value of the female gender (which is widely under “passive” attack in casual culture). We are simply not in a strong enough position to do so, having effectively assumed the position of imposter males.

By allowing any gender-based stereotypes or slang to persist in our presence, we allow the perception of the division to continue.

As I grew out of my tomboy phase, I thought I had reached a point of acceptance of myself as a female. In fact, I had merely managed to overlook that fact, and consider myself as human. It is not good enough to be unisex, omnisex, or asexual because the male “half” is so abundantly dominant at this time.

We must become the female half to speak with a voice that carries the strength and commitment needed to regrow this society. We must continue to empower ourselves and the females and female aspects of those around us.

Remember: “When she wins, you win.” -Gail Kelly


Pornography and the myth of females

Indulge me for a moment as we talk about that rather garish pink elephant: pornography. How does it affect our modern perception of women?

Consider this:

There may be a handful of female pornographers, but that industry is ultimately a male enterprise: created by males to service males at the expense of women.

Whereas the males that are present in pornography are typically depicted with a strong male essence (essence in the Aristotelian sense, or the one thing that best defines the concept– in this case, power), the females that are depicted do not embody a strong female essence (they do not depict empowered nurturers of the future of humanity). Yet these are the women who are guiding our sons and daughters into their lifelong perceptions of sexuality (barring introspective therapy).

Too often, this is the only example of sexuality they have to learn from, and it is one that is often accompanied by the feeling of shame. Any form of sexual release that is attached to shame is incorrect– and we need to know that there is a pure version out there. Otherwise we lose touch with the potential of our most intimating ability, our most effective reassurance of the bond between us and our partner.

Fairy tales are not real, but their messages become reality.

Control the Carnality of your reality.

Dedicated to the Maine NEWL of 2013

We came here as individuals,

noble and fierce in our own right.

Those first few days changed us

as we learned of leadership’s great might.

Hand to hand we considered our lives

broken apart by society’s divide.

Heart to heart a new chain was formed

Ready and able to withstand any storm.

Knowing the truth in that strength,

tempered by love and by rage,

Bar by bar we will tear down

that terrible oppressive cage.

So that each and every future woman

can stand up and say,

“I’m ready to face life.

Today is my day.”

–Lura Jackson, 06/03/13